Why I Finally Stopped Making Excuses and Built the Business Community I Actually Wanted
Sometimes the thing you’re craving most doesn’t exist yet—and that's exactly why you need to create it.
For months, I carried this idea around like a stone in my pocket. Every time I thought about it, I’d find a new reason to talk myself out of it
What if people don’t show up?
What if it feels forced?
What if I’m asking too much of people who are already stretched thin?
But here’s what I’ve learned about those persistent ideas that won’t leave you alone: they’re usually telling you something important about what’s missing in your world.
The thing that virtual coffee chats can’t replace
Don’t get me wrong—I love the convenience of Zoom. The time savings, the ease of scheduling, the ability to connect with someone without factoring in drive time or parking. Virtual meetings have revolutionized how we do business, and I’m grateful for that flexibility.
But somewhere along the way, I realized something was missing from my professional relationships.
I have friends I can talk to about family, culture, food, and art. Deep, meaningful conversations about life’s complexities.
I have business contacts I network with at professional events. Strategic discussions about growth, challenges, and opportunities.
But I didn’t have what I was craving most: local women I could talk to about all of it—and then actually support each other in real life.
The business challenges AND the family dynamics.
The professional growth AND the personal struggles.
The strategy AND the humanity behind it all.
When networking isn’t enough
Here’s where most business networking falls short: it’s designed around transactions, not relationships. You show up, exchange cards, make your elevator pitch, and hope something comes of it. The focus is on what you can get from each other.
I wanted something completely different.
I wanted to meet women who are running businesses, balancing home and work, supporting one another—but in a way that felt friendship-forward, not business-forward.
Think about it: when was the last time you had a conversation with another business owner where you talked about the whole picture? Not just the wins and the strategies, but the reality of being a powerful woman who’s also juggling being a mother, a partner, maybe a caregiver for aging parents?
Most of us are carrying so much more than what shows up on our LinkedIn profiles. But we rarely get to talk about that complexity with people who truly understand the weight of it.
The courage gap between wanting and creating
I spent months in the gap between wanting this kind of community and actually creating it.
Every excuse felt valid:
“People are too busy”
“It might feel awkward”
“What if only two people show up?”
But underneath all those excuses was a deeper fear: What if I’m the only one who wants this?
That’s the vulnerability that comes with creating something new. You’re essentially saying, “I need this to exist,” which means admitting something is missing from your current reality.
Here’s what shifted everything for me: finding someone who wanted to co-create it with me. When Tami agreed to co-host, it wasn’t just about having help with the logistics. It was validation that I wasn't alone in craving this kind of connection.
Sometimes the courage to start something new isn’t about being fearless—it’s about finding the right person to be scared with.
Designing community around connection, not networking
When we finally planned the gathering, we made intentional choices about how it would feel different from typical business events.
Location: We chose a restaurant where we could relax over a meal, not a conference room or hotel ballroom.
Conversation: We didn't structure it around presentations or pitches. We just... talked about life.
Focus: Instead of leading with business cards and elevator pitches, we led with curiosity about each other as whole people
The result? Magic.
These women already understood how important relationships are to their businesses. We didn’t need to talk about business strategy over dinner to build strong business relationships. In fact, the opposite was true.
The strongest professional relationships aren't built on what we can do for each other—they’re built on genuine connection, mutual respect, and authentic care.
What happens when you stop waiting for permission
That evening taught me something profound about community building: sometimes you don’t need to wait for the “perfect” moment or the “right” circumstances. Sometimes you just need to stop making excuses and start.
The women who showed up were’t just hungry for business connections—they were craving the same thing I was. Real relationships with people who understand the complexity of running a business while managing all the other aspects of life.
We talked about challenges that don’t typically come up in networking events. The decision fatigue. The guilt of working when your kids need attention. The pressure of being “on” all the time. The loneliness that can come with leadership.
But we also celebrated wins in a way that felt authentic, not performative. Shared resources without keeping score. Offered support that went beyond professional advice.
The ripple effect of creating what you need
Here’s what I didn't expect: creating this gathering didn’t just fill a need in my own life—it opened up space for others to do the same.
Since that first dinner, I’ve watched these women support each other in ways that go far beyond business. They’ve celebrated personal milestones, offered practical help during family crises, and created ongoing connections that enrich both their personal and professional lives.
That’s the thing about authentic community: it has a way of expanding beyond your original vision.
Your permission slip to create what’s missing
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking about something you’ve been wanting to create but haven’t found the courage to start. Maybe it’s a local meetup, a mastermind group, a community initiative, or even a new business offering.
Here’s your reminder that the thing you’re craving? Other people are probably craving it too.
The idea that keeps coming back to you isn’t bothering you because it’s a bad idea—it’s persistent because it’s pointing toward something that needs to exist.
You don’t need perfect circumstances. You don’t need a guarantee of success. You just need to start with one step: find one other person who shares your vision and is willing to co-create it with you.
The strongest relationships—personal and professional—aren’'t transactional. They’re not about what we can get from each other. They’re about showing up as whole people with all our complexity, challenges, and courage.
Creating community in your own business
This experience reminded me of something crucial: in business, we often focus so much on what we’re selling that we forget about the community we’re building around it.
Your clients don’t just want your product or service—they want to feel connected to something bigger. They want relationships that acknowledge their full humanity, not just their business needs.
Whether you’re hosting client events, building online communities, or simply changing how you approach one-on-one relationships, the principle is the same: lead with genuine curiosity about people as whole individuals, not just as business contacts.
Ready to build stronger relationships in your business? The same principles that create authentic community can transform how you connect with your ideal clients. If you’re ready to move beyond surface-level networking and build the kind of relationships that actually fuel sustainable growth, let’s explore how your unique story and expertise can become the foundation for genuine connection. Book a Brand Story Intensive and discover how to attract your people by showing up as your whole self.